and she loves him for it

Are you out there?
i miss you terribly =(

what mom gave me widdle brother is adorable *smiles*
i wonder where you are alot little one. wonder whats on your mind.
wonder if you look for me in the air like i do to you. wonder how
bedtime is for you. its the 28/12 and im watching the game, ben got hurt =(

I just want to be alone tonight. I just wanna take a little breather *sigh*

So jealous. But he waited 107 waited before he got his heaven. Someone gimme a high presure hose to put in my ear. Blow them right out of my mind. He said it was sometimes hard being with the three couples. Sometimes more than otheres. Tomorrow I think im going with father. Maybe I need it. I wonder what roy is doing right this second. I can imagen what new years will be like. Everyone buying fireworks. We got some homemade shit from the streets and it was scary. But good stuff. I can also see the block on which the house stands. Gross, this song. Let me change it. Okay that's a tad bit better. Numbers still don't match. Im out

Wrong way to make small talk with me pal. Numbers don't add up. Maybe next time. Angelboy out

Now I have a good view. And I haven't forgotten

I guess im going through rehab in a sense. Jon understood. This song is great. My own prison..... im out. Goodbye

Its probably true. I took a nap and I still feel weak. Just gotta shake it off. Maybe run up and down the stairs, that should do it. Ha

Damnnn, I missed most of my show (snaps). Wanna know what makes me happy? Making dramtic thingys into a room, like opening a door a litle too fast and hard and like run and jump into a bed. That and when I buckle my belt. (My mustang one) I feel like ima about to drive. Sooo it makes me =D. A boy can dream no? My hands smells like the white gloves that I had on. Ohhh snapp, the huge buff guy can't get the boot! Fuckkkkkk. He did. Ohhs. He's spazing. A dude that sizw cryingg like a bitchh. well ha im the one that's talking huh? Wrf. Someone is gonna get laid out. Lmao he called himself a meat head. The blinding, burning light. Wow this is crazy O.o

Scream casey, scream. I love it when he smiles in his sleep. Wish I could see the reason behind it. Like how edward see's alice's visions. I don't ever really stop thinking about the fork's gang. I think I know what im gonna do to burn time. Take all of their cars apart and put them back together. Good thing I kept their papers under my bed. Jen's still fast asleep. Well sorta lol, I walk in there like every 45 or hour and say "are you awake yet" and she's say no :]. ? Not sure how this poped in my head but when edward heard nessie's thoughts from bella's tummy. He was like wait! Did you hear that? And jake thought he heard a tiny sound he made but nope. Just cracked my left ankel. I think its the right one that I can crack over and over nostop. Jen owes me six bucks and joe owes me four. Anywon really read this? Like really? Pointless no? Idks. But thanks for reading if you do. Oh and my left arm dosent hurt anymore so I guess that's a good thing. Wells imma go um do something? Maybe call and see if joe's home or maybe text people? Watch something? Count something? Idks. Bryan over and out

My thought is of edward's bottlecap. How he kept it and like had it with him sorta always. Reminds me of how I use to carry something with me

Blog? Im okay.

I guess this is the part where I say my prayer, like the good boy that I know I am. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep and if I should dead before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. <3

If you were in pain, wouldnt you do anything just to make it stop? Even if it were for just a second? And if you could hold it for minutes or hours, wouldn't you?

I wasn't going to beg. *sigh* I wasn't... I didn't. Its his choice. Not mine. I hope he made the right one. Whichever that one might have been. I don't know too many people here. I see my framilar faces fixed in the crowd but eh. How stupid must I look lol. I think I look kinda cute here. Jen's at sam's house. Im so sorry mama. I don't like letting my real world side out. Its just that I don't feel safe enough to come out yet. Its cold and when even hiding behind his leg (like a kid) I feel the cold breeze. I still wonder if you think of me. I wonder why you wouldn't meet my gaze. And the way you stood. Like you just wanted to leave. I try to makeout things. Moods of people around me. Lately I just feel blah. Like I eat but it isn't because im hungrey. Its because I have to. I think of it when edward eats human food. Im not sure why. The gift I got myself for well this day, christmas was an other braclet with the cullen family crest. Im cheap, 20 bucks. I guess its time to go back now =/ hello world....

What was it last year? a guitar and amp and other things no?
i hope you got everything you asked for this time around and that you
enjoy it

The night is starting. Watching this movie always gets me. A walk to remember. I guess im a softy but that isn't something I just found out. Im feeling like jake. But im not as lucky, no one's gonna loss me the keys to an astion martin. I won't even be tossed keys at all. So I guess I'll just (phase)

*lets out a soundless scream* I don't like the picture that's there whenever I close my eyes. Even if its just to blink... its there. Lets see if she can make it go away

Highlight of my day: driving

father thinks the mall is open lol, i wont
tell him that i HIGHLY duubt it tho. because i just
wanna drive and get out of here. i guess im out, try not
to miss me too much mi beloved readers =p

louis vuitton backpack =p lol its never too late to get one
or well theres even a ford dealer in windsor. my jokes

Lmao father is a butt, we were in the chinese people room and I said he could stlll save christmas if he puts a cute little bow one one of those bottles over there and he said "ohh I got somethin for you that im gonna put a bow on =p" I punched his arm and he laughed. Father and I are always crackin the gay jokes its funnyy. Even tho I didn't get a thing mother says within two weeks I can get something. I think the trip to park street was the most fun I've had in a while. Like itfelt dangerous =p anyone want to take my hand? I'll show you my vision

Anyone there? Um well I really don't know what to say..... oh well this song reminds me that I've never scene a black balloon outside of ad's. Ever. The gtr beat the viper in a 1/4 mile. That's crazy. The gtr has 480 horse and is heavyer than the viper. Viper has 600 horse and is lighter. But w/e I'd say viper is a better by since all you hear about the gtr's is how they blow their trani's. Its almost nine now. I should call joey before he leaves to his dad's. Well at least he can't say I didn't try. His room has its own phone number, I use to think that was so cool. What am I doing? Listening to quedate. Oh and now im looking up cars on ebay motors. Ohhhh, why dosent like jasper has a car? Or at least they never talk about it. Guess he just rides with anymore. Im looking at the car rose has. If you post a comment saying what it is I just might smile :]. Edward made me smile when I red that he got a motorcycle, first thought I was, was "ducati" and I was right. Now those are fasttt bikes. Not cheap either but who needs to worry about money when your a cullen? Just got a text from chandyr saying merry christmas. The sky is a nice blue. Im thinking tooo much *sigh* later

Stupid lyrics, I hope these ones loose their stickyness soon so they'll be off my mind. What did I do to my left arm? Like its been hurting for two days. I did hit it against a doorframe but it wasn't even that hard. In mexico we'd all be at my grandmother's house and all of us would open our gifts at midnight.now my mind is locked on a picture....

Wow.... I guess she wasn't kidding. She said what she's gotten us for the last two weeks were our gifts for this day. So there really isnt anything under the tree this year. Um at least I can say it really was like everyother day of the year now. I could have waited for the board and stuff if I knew it was gonna be like this. Can't think like this, at least im alive.... yes that's the way to think

Angel boy here.... don't even get me started on my mind. Im trying to live in the moment. Im laying here under my oversized brown blanket. Everything is okay and calm living this way. Sorry.... my eyes difted to the batman on my desk that lindsey won me this past summer.I watched an episode of the batman where bruce wrecks the batmobile by trying to catch this guy calling himself "gear head" (how lame is that? Anywho that's besides the point" and he makes a new one and its so much faster and just darker and better looking.I like how his helment for his motorcycle looked like, with the pointy ears. But I think I still might like batgirl's helment in one on my comics. The part where she sees from is in the shape of a cool bat and I think it may have even had the batears :]. 11:32 is the time, and my ears slightly rang. I wish you all a nice holiday. I'd whisper the words you'd wanna hear. . Woke at 5:59. What like a tiny bit bess that five hours of sleepm great. I guess this didn't post last night.

blog? im not that far away from making this even with my life.
i see something. remember when el was showing slyer and peter how to use the thunder? i feel like im learning too. i offend wonder if he meant to close the door and leave his best friend in such a dark and horrible place. but when he returned to save him, take him back, turns out he adapted, and all too well..... he didnt even have the same face anymore. not even the same blue eyes. reminds me of a song. "Hold the hand of your best friend, look into their eyes, then watch them dirt away". this is day one, nine more to go, im out

pee wee's new song is awesomee =)

That was well interesting. Going to park street at night. Its like right up the road and a right turn from where your grandfather's place use to be. That's a scary place to be at, at night. Like all my dad's friend has gotten robed at gun point, car jacked and stabbed there. Beaners there's just don't give a fuck. They'll kill for you 20 bucks. The vw thing on tv with the beetle talking with a german tounge is funny. Thinking and thinking, later

One of my fave shows is on :] man vs wild. Soory I had to bring me pal to mother. I wonder why he think s highly of me, im no different than normal people. Well maybe I have more time on my hands than most but normal I am. (Sometimes) I got emmett's and edward's wristband. I wonder..... over and out

Dear kahtia, thanks for the simple answer. Made my day much? That's a huge step that I wouldn't have gotten toin many days, weeks and maybe in months. And thanks for the texts

I feel pure. But yet its amazing how one thought the size of a speck of sand can turn that all around. I wouldn't want to be mother or father around this time of year, because how do you shop for someone who's perfect gift can't be wraped and placed nicely into a box. Does that make sense? I heard her whisper and I will try.

i love it when im angry =)
"nothing besides one's own shadow is guarantied to forever stay"
i was in such a lost for word that i said that. me =) im proud.

bryan herei guess, trying to get in the mood to sing along to dimelo. jen's half awake and my brother is awake. but i bet not for long. *sigh* if the table were turned i wouldnt have told the person what i saw. what for? i would make it easy for them and not bring it up each class we have together. kahtia's right. i just have to focus on myself. throw everyone else to the wind. and let them fall where their ride ends. what landen and jamie said is bothering me. " i have my believes, i have faith but dont you?". "no i dont, theres too much bad shit in this world" "without suffering there wouldnt be compassion." "try telling that to those who suffer" shut up mr.vann!. this is why i hardly leave the "saftey" of my mind. because like landen said theres too much bad shit in this world. wars happen outdooors. *sigh* but so does a fair, where a couple might go on a ferris wheel together. all my questions point to one answer but i dont want to come to terms with it. but when i do it'll make things easyer. im sort of proud of myself. i said the word "when" and not if.

Huh? That's um so wronggg! So ivy and barb are friends that just wanted to make thw world a greener place? That's stupid. And wrong and lol they call each other "red" imma watch the whole season three of the batman. 15 year old boy watching cartoons? Well there's a time for everything. Even for growing up. Adam west voices the voice of the mayor here. So he's mayor of the town in family guy and gotham. Ivy (pam) just bailed on barb. Not cool well imma watch this, angelboy over and out

Morning. Thanks for the advice erka.
it worked better than i thought it would
but i guess you'd know since your older than me.
i woke at 7:04. thats something i can even, wtf?
why the bloody nose? fuck. well as i was saying i guess..
i cant even give that a seoond's thought. i have to cut it
and just run away from it right when i have it. that reminds me
of after bella was turned how edward and her could do things within
fractions of a second. father is working today. but thats normal for him.
i think my snowboard is taller than her... my mind? batman and catwoman,
jack and sally, nessie and jacob, romeo and juilet.

This feeling blog, it might me fake but you won't tell me that now will you? I feel thought of. Jen's still not home from sam's and oh I got the nerve to hold my brother again. So small that boy is. My mind? I'l look the doors I don't want you to go through and show and mark the steps you should walk on but besides that Im thinking of the cullens, time, this buring I feel inside, my brother and a walk to remember. Its 10:30. The night is young and so am I. The pack and I made plans for sometimes this week. I sorta hope for some of the snow to melt. So the highways would be safer. But is there anything as a safe highway when it comes to him and his gli?. Wanna know a random thought? (Ouchhh, that one hurt bad) well roy has the worst luck, he got his leg ran over like the day before his birthday. He left all his cd's on a plane before. His plane has been late to getting here when he had a concert to go to. And he got mugged for his phone and ipod at gunpoint. I hav a few songs on my mind. Lie to me, when im gone, and never too late and a few more but I can't remember their names, but I have em as faves on youtube. Know what I hate? How parts of songs stick out to me and how lines just sometimes stay on my mind. Wells imma go talk to jen and maybe annoy her a tad? Who knows. Im outie

i think maybe the actor that played laden in a walk to remember would have MAYBE played mr. edward cullen. MAYBEE those. but its hard to find an actor who fits a boy so gorgeous that it almost hurts to look at him. and i dont think brad pitt or johnny depp or orlando bloom cold do the job. plus there too long. but yet whats age in hollywood? well its somethinggg but well they can edit some no? i feel peaceful, ive even learned a new trick. making it turn in my eyes, yeah im lame but ya got to love me huh? well f you dont someone else will. (ouch) ph and the food was reallyy super good by the way mom. i wish jasper was around, and not the friendly ghost. jasper cullen. he could change my mood. darn. mother calls, angelboy out

may i burn hot now?
(iwill)

take a ride to my block,
i shouldnt be doing this but
no, im sorry, i cant. rule number
one. now i have new words that hold me

that'll be my forth secret.
gimme, mine. i hate doing this
everytime it happens. when it falls and
moves away from me. i guess im on some sort of
a role, that'll be my fifth secret. sixth.
this sould be fun, it's been a while *walks way*

Nowhere ta run, nowhere ta hide, im scared of the truth, im tired of lies

i wish that person hadnt told me what they saw.
why would they tell me? do i have "hurt me" writen all over me?

Dear blog, I have no idea where my tech class went but im sitting in autos. Like myteacher or class isn't here. I asked two teachers if they knew where truss was and well they didn't know and they asked if I'd wanna just sit here in autos and I said yea. So many things on my mind. Not anything normal people would wanna know =). Mine. The guys in the class are funny as hell. But im trying to control it because I don't know these people. Im out, later

Dear blog, I have no idea where my tech class went but im sitting in autos. Like myteacher or class isn't here. I asked two teachers if they knew where truss was and well they didn't know and they asked if I'd wanna just sit here in autos and I said yea. So many things on my mind. Not anything normal people would wanna know =). Mine. The guys in the class are funny as hell. But im trying to control it because I don't know these people. Im out, later

i woke up alot last night, like um four times?
i mean it sucked a tiny bit but i was able to fall
back asleep easy this time. when i talk anout the game
to troy i know what he'll say "we need to get rid of ben,
he sucks" he always says that but we have him an eight year
102 million dollor contrack. whats on my mind? too much for
this time in the morning. i told sonia that i wish i could be
something like edward and she was like too bad everyone wishes that,
i said to be cold and eternal? amy isnt on and she said something about
feeling sick the other day so maybe she is now but from what she told me
she wont want to misss this day, plus its the last one for a while.think
there rea;;y is 14 shades of grey? more no? yeah way more. my light blub
in my lmap when out so its super dark in here. vann will most likely pull me out of studyhall. should i just stand when the phone rings? naw huh? cause if its not for me theru will be like, ummm and your standing why? my tummy is empty, its a sucky feeling but after the third day you can ignor it better. i remember that from a summer or two ago. i just drank water. goosebumbs. yesterday i lost =/. kays well i guess its tie to do this, im out...

yucks, nice going smarties.
you messed up your words =/

Bryan here, watchin transformers :] lol wanna sit on my lap? You know, safetyand all, I got the only seatbelt. Makes me wonder, remember, dream

I won't ask but don't think of me as a dumbass

i went to sleep really early last night (9:10)
but then i woke up at (4:28). i struggled for a bit
trying to fall asleep again but i did and then woke up at
6:35, so i thought ohh %^&*! but then it hit me, do he have a 5300
second delay? i wasnt about to go sit in front of the tv untill the w's
came up so i just signed on and amy's thingy said it. he's so little.
i think he only opens his eyes four times aday. he sleeps on jen alot.
im sorta afriad to hold him because im idks. he's cute. i changed my nightwing icon to something new, i like it better. its of a girl sitting and with roses to her left. well her right but its my left. lol a wee bit confusing. read my mind? please?
angel boy out

%&*@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we lost =( *sighs* gee thanks ben.
what three fumbles and three picks?

all out of words

grrrrrr, i can't lose this now.
kays well its almost nine and im
listening to starless. ughhhhhhh,
this feeling. i guess its because
of the music. thats cute, lia falling
asleep in his arms. my thoughts, like when
freddy's fingers turned into needles and he
shot up the ex junkie. like when nikki thought
she saw dl? and then injected herself with the
sickness. and mohinder couldnt fix her. lmfaoooo
a freedy rap. foeget my supid thoughts

17.4 billion for the big three and canada gave like 3 bilion because gm and chyister is there too? Idks. I can't think like that. Nope, nope, nope, lol that reminds me of littlefoot from the the land before time...... now im thinking of one of the thingys from one of my sn's. About would a bullet through my temple really kill me or just leave a huge mess for me to clean up. As said by mister jacob black. =/

I really like the way my face and eyes look today, is that strange? Umm today is sorta a huge day. Because we can take the #1 seed from the titans. I hope we watch the game here at home but idk if we will. Since father never does have a plan. (Yucks, chopy thoughts) our game starts at 1. I think im just gonna lay here now..... later

I think that was my best night's sleep the whole week. I like even slept late, late for me at least, woke up at 6:50. Read my mind? Angel boy out

Raven's won. Damn. *sigh*
Jess said I remind her a lot of edward? Idks but it like blew my mind. Its 11:54. I wonder if she had fun tonight, imma just go to bed now. Wells im already in bed so I guess its just a matter of pressing post and closing my eyes. Sleep well, bryan over and out

i heard that new weezy while taking a shower,
its a hott tune lol. wells i guess amy and michelle
are going to the mckay's place. i'd wanna go but im needed
here since jen and father are gone. =/.oh and rose is suchhh
a *&^%$. em is fuuny tho. wells mi hair is still wet and im
listening to takida =), i guess they sorta blew up from the last
time i heard em. i dont like that, when people blow up and become
someone. take kanye for explain. he's first cd was his best shit, when
he rapped and now um he's a dick and well i still like his tunes but it
was better before everyone knew em too much.kay well imma gonna try to finish
what i have of midnight sun, later folks. angel boy outtt, oh and i hope you get what i sent you, cat and gaby

break yoself fool =p

how about a happy tune

The car you drove like a mad woman

I think I've found the car that I think fits you nice, the bmw x6 35 i

Bryan here, ace thinker =p
Kays well im in the living room watching a x2 shot of love. Lol this stuff is funny. Wow. Skankbox. Not even I would use that word. If I didn't write, blog* that dream down right after I had it then I so woulda forgotten it. Gross, my thoughts are chopy. I so need to clean mi room. I think imma listen to down, it makes mi happy. Lol the irony in that. A song named down makes me happy. Today's game a a good one, full of drama. Ravens vs cowboys, winner gets the other wildcard spot in the playoffs. Oh and member when I said I couldn't find my red braclet? I guess had had it, she says its pretty. At 1:23 is my fave part of the song, up untill 2:30. Makes me remember. Wait I don't like that wordm because when you say it, it like means you forgot or just we'll maybe haven't thought about it in a while. Idks. Do I make sense?

ive been up since 6:05,
who wakes up that early on a
weenend? lol well thats me. i think normal
people would spell till like 9:4 or ten. ummmm
imma go find something to eat, read my mind, later

what a strange dream.
ummmm cat? im my dream you were
like acrazyyyyy driver, like you would speed and drift =p
lmao i was like ummm okay, and you learned this when? anwho,
it was you, me, amy and "my cousin: hector in a blue eclipse.
well i guess we were all our real ages but i wonder why hector wasnt
driving since he really could drive.... but i guess amy wanted to drive for a bit.
just like a few streets and after the first one there was a police cheak point. we all thought one word. starts with a f and ends with a k, oh and it so isnt firetruck =p. but yeah, ummm i guess in my dream amy's dad was a cop? so she didnt get in too much crap but her dad would raise hell when she got home. and after amy got in stuffs, hector toook the wheel and droped amy off first. and well we (as in you and me) i guess we were together and well nvm.... what got me most was like how randommmmmm this dream really was. you being such a good/crazy driver, amy's dad being a cop, and the ride back to your house and the details i lacked and the biggest ? of em all. who's. where and why the light blue eclipse?

sweet, its burning blue.
like dirft wood thats been
in salt water

Fact: i can eat loads of oatmeal when im cold

My theme song =p

lol jen told me it's My song, downnn

dear blog, jen and i snowblowed and shoved the driveway for like an hour and a tiny bit more, i mean it was a tiny bit fun but the fast falling snow covered up quicky what we did like the five minuites before it. and um jen and i saw a sudden like burst of neon blue? it was crazy, i thought it was just me and i stood there and looked around, i asked if she saw it and she asked me what i saw, i said a big blue light. idks. so im back in the house. doing the usual. reading, aim and music, thinking. later

guess i spoke far too soon.
im still reading midnight sun,
every 15 or so i leave the chinese
people room and go see him. always sleeping
that kid =). ohh and my steelers jacket came
in today. its big. but i guess thats better than
it being too small. i'll grow into it. drama, i swear.
im glad im no part of it. just gone, lmao like the wind.
*sigh* no help please, im fine. *falls down* really im fine =).
edward is on my mind and other people and things. snow, snow, snow,
gosh. im listening to i'll be missing you, lol it always makes me wanna
move and clap my hands. oh and a movie has been made about big! isnt that great?
lol joey and i are gonna find a way to see it. like reallyyy, lol it was all a dream, you sure said it big, you really did, well angel boy out

How lame, a snow day without any snow =/

Our first snowday, sweet, I asked jen if it snowed and she said "not an inch" and I thought on damn. Scgool. But everythinggggg is closed. They even say it might snow untill monday but I don't think so. Im listening to 100 years by five for fighting. My baby bro didn't sleep like at all in the night since he slept like all day. I adore him <3 wells imma try to help mother, I hope you enjoy your day off

(Sometimes) i wonder....
more like (Always) <3

Random bryan fact: i love the sounds that knives make
when you quickly take them from where there held

i'll play the role,
just toss me the script.
you want me to be the snowboarder?
okay, its done. i'll be him. want to know
the thought thatjust came to me? fresh from the oven.
in deriot rock city (the kiss movie) the mothers said that
kiss spelled backwards is sikk. as in well sick. like the bless you
kinda sick. i'll take that sickness please, look,even with a smile on my
face.

someone be a doll and get me a med pack =/.
someone told me that people see me as secretive
and a bit of a puzzle because people dont know
alot about me? idk. lately ive been seeing myself
as edward. oh and i red the first chapter of midnight sun,
it was great if i do say so myself. ouch, make it stop?
*sigh* if only, if only....

sweet, 5400 seconds more time here at the house.
but um what time must we go to school? amy like
wakes around the same time as me and is on amy like always
but not now i guess, w/e? yucks i said whatever. i think mom
would like the dc vault. idks why. i'd call joey but he's a heavy
sleeper. ohhhsss! it just totaly hit me, season three of heroes is over.
guess whos gonna get it the first day its out on dvd? =}. i think i'll look
better that what season two's box does. but maybe not better than season one.
hmmmm, so i guess nathan droped everyones names to the government huh? and he wants to cage em up? like primatech? my tummy feels a little off, wells imma go see whats new in the world i live in, angel boy out

he's a cute,
so small. =).
well wanna know something? for me to sleep my door needs to be locked
and my closet needs to me closed. remind me to clean my room. ohssss and heroes
was AMAZING. remindedof of a horror flick, like a group of helpless people traped in a place with the killer, being picked off one by one. anywhos, so ando is a "supercharger" thats a pretty niffty gift but it sucks when your not with a gifted one no? oh and nathan is a butt. like no lie. petie saved him and h asked why, saved his hind because he loves him, there brothers and nathan says its not what he woulda done. and jus flew away. oh and i was really dumbed to see nikki kill the black dude with the power of fear. hmmmmm, power of fear, like the scarecrow and freddy. well its 10:41 and im doing the usual, siiting on my bed with some tunes in the backround. i really need to finish drying my hair, i wont blow dry it because jen's asleep? plus it makes your hair go poof. because the hospital held mother, mother had to set my haircut and color for an other day. i hear it should snow today? or at least thats what mr. cannada told us. but it wont snow much. i really do hope to wake upwith eveything with a thin layer of white. even if we have school. well we will, betcha we dont even get a delay. im on the left side of the bed and well i looked to the right side.... (i pictured her there)i swear that sometimes when i have a warm night or hot one i say its because shes here with me in spirt. i think i didnt spell that right. she had alot of wok today so she couldnt come with us. no snowboarding this week =/, ut i think i already said why. but i'll sayit again. because we have a one a clock game and mother wont wanna drive that far that soon with my brother. want to know something? (your still the first and last thought of my day and night) angel boy out

slow down love...
your thinking way too much.
the fire can wait, it wont go out.
someone once told me that everything will
be okay, and she was (right)

this song just makes me wanna hold her or maybe even...... dance.
may i have this dance my lady?

For I know my baby brother could be here now, but besides that I had a wonderful dream. Wanna know a random fact? A person psends two weeks of his or her life kissing. Ops well that wasn't what it was meant ta say, kays well my shampoo and board have the same name. Nexus. =( im in thrid block and this (hurts)

gosh its so late, 12:02. mother is hooked up to all sorts
of stuff. i had to fight against father, mother and jen to get a name besides
kevin. i won. his name will be keith. its not common? but it isnt a name i'd think
about naming my kid. wanna know about my day? well i saw her while going back from a few stops. i really didnt think i'd dump into her. she seemed happy to see me, which was (amazing). oh and while on the way back from thhe john in study hall i found a book on the ground. Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. i took it as a sign. a man with two people inside him. thats were they got the idea for two face, off jekyll and hyde. i missed heros =/. which is something i never do. maybe vu yeah but not me. jen isnt going to school tomorrow. im not sure if i will go, who knows, im like the wind. (thats so not true and that sounded cheesy) no snowboarding this week =/. and i ireally wanted to do with jen. but she says she wont miss the titans game for the word. well i'd like to write here what the intro to the book said.

"Here is evil. Here is the pure poison of the soul, the darkness that we are all afraid lurks within ourselves. We are afraid of it, afraid of what awful things we might do if we lose control. Afraid, but also tempted, because there is freedom in doing exactly what we want. Freedom for a time, and for a price.

Temptation. Fear. Rebellion. Horror. Consequences. They are all founf in robert louis stevenson's dr. jekyll and mr. hyde. It is a famous story, one that everybody thinks he or she knows: A man drinks a potion and becomes transformed intosomething barely human, a murdering, amoral fiend. But which is which? is it mr. hyde who is transformed man, the man so near a beast he does whatever his nature drives him to do, without thought or care? Or is it the other way around, with dr.jekyll the vicious creature and mr.hyde the solid citizen. the upstanding man who is respected in the community?

i could never remember whih one was which, and on (im far to sleepy to finish this)
its 12:22. gotta sleep sometime i guess. angel boy out. over and out <3

my brother will be born today?
bceuase my mother lacks like a flulid =(
i hope he'll be okay

Sing it pain, kanye. I hope jen and I can go snowboarding but the kid will most likely put a stop to that. I wonder when momther will blow up, this whole week is crazy, will be. I can't handle more than I can handle this week. I wish someone would..... angel boy out

=DDDDDdD ask me who won us the game? Us and because of our defense =p <33333

Jasper's little monster,
Alice's over protective fool

Football makes me forget, the jets game was bangin. We set the tree today. Ouchhhh. Ummm I gotta fit this, oh and I got three braclets that I like very much. Angel boy out

Me again, wanna know a fact? If you ever ask mi tio many want time it is he'll always say "its miller time, now go get me a beer" :]. Ouch..... gotta redo my stichs. ='(. Sorry, gotta get ahold of myself. To get a grip. I won't be going home this summer, at least 30 people die each week and there's soilgers everywhere. Far too dangerous. Even for well me....

Yucks I don't like breakfast drinks, I hate oj. Father pulled over on the highway and told me to drive =) I ewas happy but also nervous lol. I did 70 real quick. And well father said I burned rubber and said easy tiger =p wells im waiting for the food. Today there's no comics here. Darn. Can't get lucky all the time I guess. The place we normaly eat at is under new owners. Its nice but it felt more homey before this. Now a beaner is a cook so father is talkin to em. Wells imma go, over and out

Yucks I don't like breakfast drinks, I hate oj. Father pulled over on the highway and told me to drive =) I ewas happy but also nervous lol. I did 70 real quick. And well father said I burned rubber and said easy tiger =p wells im waiting for the food. Today there's no comics here. Darn. Can't get lucky all the time I guess. The place we normaly eat at is under new owners. Its nice but it felt more homey before this. Now a beaner is a cook so father is talkin to em. Wells imma go, over and out

Just woke up (again) 9;13. Fella asleep to listen to your heart. I remember what it was like to do that, well to listen to yours beat, its beauitul. Maybe its because im half asleep that I feel like I can't make the flame. I wish someone would say you and your flame and look their eyes and kiss my forehead. Going to the flee market, so that means comics, angel boy out, 1/2

All clean now (7:28).
I went to bed before jen came back from sam's. Mother is always the 2nd one awake. Well on weekends. You can guess what hour I woke up at today. Mother woke up at around maybe 6:30? We're the only ones awake, if no one touches jen's door she'll easly sleep untill noon. That's crazy huh? An well at lastest father will wake at nine. What am I doing you ask? same old, listening to some tunes and sitting on mi bed. Yesterday before I laid my head down to sleep I had the whole flame thing down easy. My hair smells like hers, or at least that day that I said your hair smells nice. Joey never spends christmas at criss's. He just gives em his gifts. Sometimes I wish there were even a tinyest element of surprise on that day. Because we just like ask for what we want I guess and its just there, same goes for birthdays, just ask and they take you to get it. I won't be hat way with my kids, I'd wanna see their beautiful faces right up and just run up to their old man and say thanks daddy. That'd be nice, someday.... desides the basement jen's room is always the coldest. And the bathroom door here on the upper level makes the most sound. Like one of those cool doors in a horror movie. Sometimes I say imma put oli or greese or whatever they put on doors to fix it but then it wouldn't be cool anymore. I'd say my hair smells like coconut.the water in real coconuts taste like yucky. Radom thought. When we were on our way into oliver garden and there was a mustang that I liked and she said her like uncle has the same thing. It was black, an 04. Or maybe 03. That brings up an other memory, when there was once a blue saleen there and I just like froze and stared at it, jen rolled her eyes and graped my hood and walked, so I'd have to follow her if I wanted to keep my neck. I guess im just gonna wait intill someone more waits up, love always, bryan

Breath bryan. Please just breath

Sweet, all my blankets have been washed, they smell like my hoodie that one day that emily said I smelled nice, you said it too. I think it was after your swimming test. Can you feel me?

The moon is so close that i feel like
icould throw up a throw to it and tie it to a light post and it'll stay.
i'd keep it. mine. unless you'd want it too and then i could share and we can
call it ours <3

Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day. Yeah lovely day we're having huh? *sigh*

The moon is whoaaa, orange

Ohhh snappp!! =/ the brick is at 2%. And there's still an like evers or seems to be evers left till we get back to the house. And imma sick of counting the trees on top of people's cars, father and I lost out after 127, well sorta. It got old so we said screw it. Angel boy out

To my right is the full moon, and to my left is the sun, so bright. Even the sun looks as full as the moon. Sorry I know I shouldn't be looking at it but it was only for a second, I swear. They both look so pretty, wells um later I guess

I had an other five aclock morning today =/ so I guess im going to work with father in ny. Angel boy over and out

Mother's pushing 80 right now and we're getting the kid's crib and car seat tomorrow. Imma take a shower then I get to the house and idk from then on. We just passed a gli. It was sliver. Greattt..... nose bleed. Im here, and im out...

Motherplumerrrr, I can't light the fire on my hand, grrrrrrrr. But I bet if I stoped trying and just like sneezed my hand would bust into flame :]. Lets try this shitttt

Lmaoooooo we're here eating at smokey bones and the music here started skipping, jen and I couldn't stop laughing =) wells angel boy outt, loveee mee, misss meee, wanttt meee

Wanna know a quickie?
Today's moon is the fullest of the year, reminds me of jake even tho is isn't like a reallllll werewolf. Aro hunted them close to excition. (I so can't spell) guess somethings will never change

Note to self: * ****** *** ********

i wonder if she...
i wonder who joey's love notes were
for, maybe he was going to give them to someone
or maybe one was one he just got and an other he was
going to give. i wont guess who, im out, i wish you could read my mind

love

This song makes me wanna clap and sway my body side ta side. I'll be missing you by diddy and faith evens. Its amazinggg. Reminds me of rush hour two when lee thought carder was died. Thank god its an easy day today, I wonder if vann will call me down. Blue is for nightmares huh gab? Well I got white is for magic. Kays well um now imma go put things in mi bookbag, later

Its almost six now and jen beat me to call shotgun, darnnnn. Im listening to the song that makes me like jello. You. I wonder if she does come over if she'd wanna leave the second the game ends. Or will it be like old times and maybe she'll have to leave at eight since its a school night. I have no clue, clue I have none, that's how yoda talks. I like my eyes and face. Pretty boy. Mother says it like almost even hurts when the little guy moves around because I guess he's big. Want to know what's on my mind? How bella and edward only had a month before aro and all the guys came and the cullens and everyone thought they were gonna die, anywho, edwards and bella would never be apart from one an other, they were so close they's always be touching. Oh and when nessie laughed at bella for smashing that huge rock into dust. And im having other thoughts but you'd have to ask me for those? I have no idea what to wear. Its 6;06. Well I think imma gonna start picking things out, over and out

I've been up since five and its 5:39 now. This feeling sucks and ughhhh. I wish you could read it, understaand it, lovely day we're having

Boyyy am I in a good good =D I lovee me new pj's <333 wells jen's in the shower and then my turn, we had eachother laugh so hardd at target, I wish you were there, it coulda been like the mall, I can make the fire in my hand again, this is amazingggg. I got an answer that'll make you shut up you little boy, didcha get that? Good. And she might wanna see the game with my family, so that's great but its a maybe so don't get your hopes too high there, promise me

Boyyy am I in a good good =D I lovee me new pj's <333 wells jen's in the shower and then my turn, we had eachother laugh so hardd at target, I wish you were there, it coulda been like the mall, I can make the fire in my hand again, this is amazingggg

Bebe linda, I wish I had your power here and now. (Nessie) sorrry im not there gaby =(. Again I feel like I can make the small flame in my hand. Like if I wanted to snap it'd be there just like that. Time flys bry, in ten day's you'll have a new family member. That's crazy huh? It'll be new, something I've never been through. I'll watch him grow, im gonna be protective but I xant sheild him from everything. What do I see around me? My closet is open, there's a black shirt hanging from my doornob, and I can see a towel, my scarf, and my blue hoodie and a thin hoodie on top. And the jeans I wore today on the floor to my left. I took almost a four hour nap, (its 6;57 now) jen tells me that I've been in hiding.I guess we're going to target, let me get on shoes on my feet please. Kays well im listening to "leave out all the rest" its a great song. Amazing even. The short guys with the pickaxes won't let up, not even a little. A dream family, bells, edward, and nessie. Thinking of what I could, later kids

Its time to be normal bry, I don't mean the things I say. I tell myself being strong three things, saying things you don't mean, don't look back and three just em move on. Im no good at it =( but im trying, its so hard tho, I must keep my mouth shut and just accept. Just try that for me please bry

gonna have to work on my bite *sigh*
someday

And in those moments everything
in motion stood still, and suddenly the
world made sense. I'm left speechless

my mind is amazing clear now, like whoa.
jen said that my mind is complicated lol she wasnt the first
one to tell me, but what she said was like oh. she said if somreone
could paint my mind it's be a masterpeice andten i added on "gorgeous"
is mmy mind a masterpeice? idks sometimes i think so, and at others i think its like wha mendzes did, poured black paint onto a canvis.

just look around you bryan,
no one likes an ex that wont go away.

open those brown eyes of yours, look

i feel better now, its just gone now.
im sorry little one, i'll make things easy again.
dont worry. i need to start thinking right. you love me.
everything is fine

bryan, wolve, fake, angel, boy, whatever you are get over yourself, get over her,
she dosent want to see you always, she dpsent want you there every second like she might have. just stay away from her, and you wont slip up, you cant wait for her to see her in the morning. she cant be the fist and last thought on your mind every single day and night. she cant. i oont care if your implusive always just keep yourt mind off her. but your so fucking stobborn, since i told you not to think of her you will, well get it out of you, take her out of you. because believe it or not you are someone without her. your heart beats, it pumps blood through your rains. your alive. in mind, in your feelings maybe not but you are real. you feel everything normal people do, you feel sad, happy, hyper, and every other feeling in betrwen. i hate asking for advice because i already know what do to, it just feels good hearing it from an other. there is life bryan, look at the sunrise, the moon, the children's laughter, flowers, there is other beauty besides her. just get over her, this isnt the time. and maybe tomorrow wont be either but there is hope for you. just wait it out, know the song we like? pretending? just keep on pretending love, our heaven's worth the waiting. please wipe those tears from your eyes, theire silly. does it not hurt her like it does me? fine to make you feel better i'll say it kills her too but she's tough, tougher than you. and hows that for you, a girl being stronger than boy. he strong. make yourself believe your that stupid wolve if thats what makes you feel better, if it gets you through your days. replacing the imange of her at the end of the road, smiling with her arms wide open. i know you wish you were jacob from the books you like., you wish you could phase and just run, run and never turn back, staying as a wolve so long that it feels strange to be human. but jacob got his hope. his love, nessie. you will too, somewhere in seven billion people. someone loves you outthere. just believe, keep your chin up but at least try. just, for me. if it means just acting like your okay in school and the csecond the bell rings you fall apart i'll be there to collect you. piece you back together. like a puzzle, ugh dont even remind me of the egg that fell off the wall and shattered and all the king's men couldnt put him back together again. thats a children's book. you are 15 years old, quit the four yearold act, it isnt cute. grow up, act your age. you cant hurt youself. so get those ideas of your mind, your mate wouldnt like to see reminders that her partner was ever in pain. i know sometimes you want to brake all promises and cut with a peice of those broken promises but you cant. just stay away from her. and if you cant force her out of your mind then just shut up to it to the others. we;ll keep it between us. me and you. she dosent need you right now, so set aside the thought of always protecting her. take noah and claire for an example, all her tryed to do was save her, protect her and she ended up hating him. wait but loving him too, after she understood he never ment for wrong. but you cant expect that of a 14 year old girl. life should be great for the both of you. and looks like hers is, your a drag to her, hahahaha fine, maybe eye candy to her but a fdrag, y our always needing her, wanting her, and if you want me to say im sorry, than im sorry for careing too much catalina. you dont mean that. ugh, see, first leason in being stronge bryan, saying things tyou dont mean is sometime best. but iots wrong. their lies. yeah they are but it makes things um not better but frozen
? worse? but i believe in you, you can fix things, if she just lets you. and that might be for years so just try. get a life, get outheres, make plans, laugh and smile. like she does. i understand now. do you think im crazy? that was all that was in my mind. all i want now is sleep. the same line is repeating in my head. "i hope to lose myself for good, and find it in the end but not in me, in you" would i still be in you? i hope so, im sorry im meant to keep this to myself. when we were arguing i hoped she's sit on my lap, grap my face with both hands and kiss my forehead and just waited a second for me to understand, i would have let then. but that didnt happen. i cant look back anymore, but she wont be there, i cant see her, or maybe tyhats its that i cant see her just back off and show that you dont show interest? ugh well that was my plan but now you now. there wont ever be a second that i wont care. myself always being there dosent make things easy and i know that, fully now i do. and since all i want to do is help, im gone. there will come a day that you'll be like bryan who? not, shut up, dont even think that, like no matter what she'd know who you are, never forget. one time i saved her. brought her happyness when she need it most. like peter, i saved the cheerleader so they could save the world. i helped catalina. i wish i could be sucked into her book and live there. i'd be edward, and she'd be bella. *sigh* ily bryan. your such a butt tho, this wont be an easy job

Mee: i fee like at this moment i could somehow make my hand light on fire, like a power and it dosent hurt me and it wouldnt hurt her if she took it without fear and just trusted me again, put down her goard, let me back in, it wouldnt have to burt, just believe in me, love me

i thought this was the most beautiful thing ive said in days, "i love me" i pulled that from you gab, i love you two

With this song (a new one) I feel like I could make my hand light on fire, like a power, it wouldn't burn me and it wouldn't have to burn you if you trust me, love me. Just take it, don't be afraid, *holds out my hand before you* im trusting you to read the words in my mind, ily and im sorry, I'll try not to ever let you down again catalina

i felt like an emmett today,
idk i guess it was because of the white?
she has her guard up now, the try for a hug when she
yawn frightened her =/ back then it wouldn't have, i think
i look gorgeous in the mirror, maybe in her eyes i am too?
but if so is it hard to resist me? i love how bella and edward are
with nessie. i love her power. may i call it that? i see jen at five today.
betcha you cant guess what song im listenning to. nope you cant. jake is stupid
whyd he have to phase in front of charlie? oh and emmett got ownneddd in an arm wrestling match so no more wisecracks about bella's sex life. lol but they made me laugh. i see myself as a little peice of each cullen and much of jacob, idk im strange. different. amazing. =D yeah im that much. i liked my wild sex hair in math. can you read my mind? is it part to part fro me? or is it all old studd from now? or is it like tearing a limb eachtime? but your a toughie. idks, angel boy outt

Its a very windy night love,I like edward's and bella's place. And whoa emmet and rose, a full ten years.... lol emmett's joks make me laugh. And jake's a moron. Charlie's coming over oh and I liked how jake told charlie about nessie, an orhaned ward, like bruce wayne or dick grayson :] my batman world. Its late I should tell you the time but I will 11:14, imma crash now, I still wonder what you wish for, want, need, thinking of, everything. Im thinking of carring you and the times in the kitchan. Night

Think you know bryan best? well heys to anyone that wants to keep up with whats new with me, (has one person in mind) my fave cereal is applejacks and idk where my brown dc beanie is right now but my fave wool hat/beanie type thing is my reverseable fox one. i love fox things, i want moreeee, wells thinking of someone and imma about to shove the laptop under me bed and pick up mi book. =) just thought of when i couldnt bring her up because she was holding to the frame and i tryed and tryed and i didnt know she was holding something and my voice shook <3

i hope she can feel the happyness i feel now,
i hope it finds a way straight to her. random
but the actor that plays bella, kristen stewart i guess
smokes TONNSSS. in star maginzine it has a picture of her smoking the
strangest looking pipe ive ever laid my eyes on. and it says she smokes
weed offten.shes only 18, but i guess i cant believe everything i read?
yeah but i hope if its true that she dosent become a huge junkie like amy winehouse.o winder what shes feeling right now, thinking, wanting, wells time to shower up, angel boy outt, ps and imma shave mi face its like idks but i am

=DDDDD mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
did you see the game??1?!!??! when when townsend
got the turnover the place blew the FUCKKKKK up.
officer fisher's face red, "what the fuck is wrong with these people??
wheres the bomb at???!!!" aby it was amazinggggg, the game was intense.
imma give troy a huge like hug and give onesteel HELLLLLLL. ilyyyy catalina mckay<33333333333333

silly boy, dont you know your the best gift she gets everyday?
her knowing she has you is the best thing always.

blogg!!! it like snowed, i went to bed at liked
12:!7 and i signed onto aim like at 9:2o and andy' thingy said
i hate snow but i looked and BAMMMMMM! snow. everythong white. i happen ta
like snow, i think it makes everything pretty, well up until it gets over like a foot and a half. i had a strange dream, like me, my sister and father had so many cars. jen had a yellow viper, and a fast minicopper, mi two mustangs,a red ferrari that mother took to go somewhere and father had tonsnsss, it was fun, soive been having dreams about the cullens, cars, saving emily, a family with you know who and just alot. reading a 100 pages is easyyy in this book, im back ta reading as bella, past her first hunt with her husband =) bells took down like a moutain lion and like deer type things. and she ran away from a human scent, thats amazing. her sight and hearing and just all her thingys are amazing. oh and shit kinda hit the fan for you jake =p bella like freaked out and the reason why jake couldnt leave before was becuase of nessie =D jake's right, her real name is a mouthful. shes a stunner that kid, so let me get this straight, shes has a higher body temp then jacob, curly hair past her shoulders, pearly white teeth, chocolate eyes like bella once had, pale, but she has a heartbeat and her skin is just as strong as vampire skin and her ability is amzing. like she can show you a thought, by touching your head. ohand i lovedddd how edward said that she has everyone tied around her finger and when he was our child. its soo cute. wells in the salazar house i hear movement so imma go see whos awake, it must be mother tho since jen and father came here from boxing at god knows when. later hun

whoaaa!! this is so random and i dont know where it
came to me but what ever happened to tang? you member,
the orange drink =p dontcha just loveeee me?

i guess the pasrty isnt here,
jen and dad left i dont they'll be back till three
am, or somewhere around there. im watching jackass and texting jon back
and forst. im cold =( sit on my lap? i liked it when you did, that creepy?
wells jackass is back on, gotta runn, ily

Get a grip man

one thing i'm missing is in your eyes =(

dear peoples,
its 12:46 and i just got outta
the shower. my hairs still wet but im dressed.
idk what to do, but im listening to my peaceful
song =) and as for thoughts, the usual. i wonder what she
wants right now. well imma go play that game on newgrounds.
got nothing better to do anyways, oh and my room is really clean
now, it was a mess all week but now it looks precentable. wanna come
over and see? later

I think imma great guy when im happy. Im funny and a good person to be around. Jen and I are watching freedom writers, I member watching this in like mrs. B's class? I remember how I went to her room once and her math call was coming back and I stood therein the son, I must have looked like an angel or something emma was like whoa look at bryan! Or was it katherine? (I so can't spell) I remember so much.

so i guess the boxing fight is today, so that means to sleep till three am
and loadssss of beer and this and that. read my mind? i feel defeated, i love you catalina

my thoughts are free to go anywhere,
but its surprising how often they head in your direction...

i didnt get that deeep sleep,i woke ay 7:57. its 8:06 now.
i feel like crap, like body wise. morning or nights dosent matter to me,
i get over that quicky. she says shes not a morning person. i guess im an anytime person. is it too early to already be thing of you? ;x

Just because i can't sleep dosent mean you cant

i'll wait an other hour before i'll say she forgot,
but i kinda had a feeling a wasnt going to get one aways.
its okay i guess.

Think she forgot?

i must have listened to this song at leastttt 30 times.
wondering if anyone could or can hear my thoughts out there.
i loved how edward just tossed jake the keys to his beautiful new car.
i loved u the song i heard on heroes and guess what? i found it =)sav gets mad at
me. she says it isnt healthly, what i do. to myself, in many ways it isnt. well it isnt period. i dont like my memory. i remember what seems to be everything. it gets old. remember when we were walking down sam's road towards the center of town and i found that twincerbell charm? i kept it. its under my pirates hat. seeing amy and joey's screen namees is like oh. like we use to be. jen went to ads with jojo, lynn and sam. just three more weeks. i sort of have an idea at how i'll be. i'll want to sent so muchtime with him, never really let go, watch him sleep and rock him back in forth in my arms. i guess it'll sorta help when i have kidos of my own. i wish for... nevermind. yet again i havent taken a nap. im beat. its 10:01. joey and amy just signed off, amy first and then joey following a second after. thats cute. my ears rang so loud in studyskills today, was it you? i have a feeling she'll crash at your place and then idks. jade is sleeping over on the 20 something. and i think our family friends will come over soon too. to see a boxing fight. those are always good times. i wonder what she misses most, well angel boy out

boy down, get me a heartshaped bandage asap!
we're loosing him goddamn it! nowww! we're gonna have ta open an
airway in his throat. the mall? my kids, i can mostly likely name any of
the ones you'd think are cute. this song wasn't as great as it was three minutes ago. kays i fixed it for a little bit. see manshe's fine. living it up. just breath, slowly. betcha someone will come up to her and says shes hot or something. i know how it is jacob, i sometimes wish i could phase and run, run far away, like he did, he was somewhere in northern canada. i rest on the same bed as him, you know, the one made of razorblades. put a sock in it bryan.

Season one of heroes again bryan??? Yepps, lol the first episode reminds me of the start or twilight. Like petie jumping off the building and bella talking about how she will die, the bst way out. And go I guess rose spazzedd out with bella's blood huh? And jake jumped at her and she stabed jake in the arm. I see myself as him, like soooo much. I would take my journal out but its all the way down stairs and im bundled up in mother's room. Mohinder's voice sounds so indian here, like the 7/11 guys he got rid of that reallyy quick. I wonder what my mckay's are up to. Can I still call them mine?I wonder if there's anything I still drew or wrote on the board near the kitchan. I don't think so thos. So the hornrimmed glass's belonged to mohinder's father. Lmao when nicki was doing the webcam stuff, I remember watching this with your family, well everyone besides dad and mom was like ummmm okay?...... wells im thinking the usual and longing for (you)

That song means tonns to me now,
idk what to do now, im bored. blahhh

Only hope, i hope it serves you as well as it does me <3

this song brings so much peice into me,
i feel one with everything, i like like if
you or just someone is around me when its on
i could warm them, make the time thats its sung
memorable. i love you little one

Maybe after all she is okay,
better than ever. like new,
but boy do i (read my mind)

Do you still see me as yours?
did she really miss me? oh and
my baby brother is six pounds now.

For all I know this thought could be real. Tomorow's battle won't be easy ='( not at all. Goodnight

What am I doing now you say? Im watching twilight. And that's the plan for tomorrow too, at around eight? I'll ask laura for a ride back home. So um bella's drinking blood huh? There all together huh? Like together together. As in couple. That's great. When it works out. I loved how edward covered his nose when bella's scent was carried by the wing. Like he was grossed outttt. He's such a jerk in this movie. And RUDE. Im really use to reading as jake now. I wonder if she... nevermind. Maybe you can read it. I can name you all their cars, that's how I tested jaz ta see if he really did read all the books. At least im not alone on the whole guy thing. But im not so different compared to all the boys at her school, bet they all red it. But here at whs im sort of a beauty :] or at least that's what I tell myself. Just like that girl said, jessica? That's bryan salazar, he's amzingly gorgeous but its like we're not good enough for him. Yepps that sorta how it is. Im thinking of the last time I touched her, well it wasn't the last time but her hair smelled like smoke. I wonder if she still reads this, if she still loves getting tang.... forks washington. Seems like agreat place. Jen says I've been in hiding like all week. Joey says I don't call him but he's always asleep. He takes naps just as long as mine. Three or even maybe four hours. Yesterday night's was the first night's or day's sleep without me sweating. Kays this is where edward saves you bells. I hate how you don't hear much of emmet or alice or jasper yet. Yet. My body wants to rest but I still have a while untill this ends. More has a mountian of baby stuff. =D the kid is gonna use five of my old clothes. Like they even have feet on em lol. Just like the one of me wearing my pink one. Remember? You said it was cute. I hate how all the cullen's and jake call bella's kid "it" and a monster and this and that. Imma love my baby so much. My mind. I have a better handle on it, im controlling myself but gosh. I wonder... farewell

Anytime and back at one

OMFGGGGG ily jen! XD

mother was like dinner is mashed potatoes with ribs and
mother asked jen what she wanted and jen said "mashed potatoes ma, i dont want any meat* and i yelled in from the other room "SURREEEEE!" and we both laughed and she said i knewwww you were gonna make a smart remark, im in your minddd son =p

i love these two =) makes me laugh and feel nice

Like the pulse of blood behind a bruise,
you said it mrs.cullen. bella. so im here
listening to a mandy moore tune =). im lame.
i was happy today. isnt that great? ughhh why cant i
help but to feel like you jacob? the way you talk,
the way you think. everything. it was almosty painfull
to see edward is broken.on his knees asking jacob to kill
him if bella dies. i feel like a bad stand up comedian. sitting
there on the stood saying all he's got even in an empty club.
im not broken but honey im not that far from it. i just need to think
like the wolve that i thought of and felt like after my reading 2nd block.
if i touched your cheek would you be cold and hard? to be you sure got the beauty down. no matter how much you argue with me. mother says the kid kicks alot now and they feel harder and harder. i dont blame em tho, being the in same place, same surrondings could and will get boringgg with time. lmaooooo "they got kicked outta the projects man?" =p

i cant fight myself,
you have no idea at how
hard it is for me to stay away from you.

Father gave me a talk.
And no it wasn't the sex one.
He lit a fire under my butt. I will father. I just have to put this monsterous mind to work. I need to teach it to get off the nonesense. And teach it to focus. To do what I want it to do. To keep it where I want it. I'll thank him and myself later. Todays lullaby is a linkin park tune. My december. Not a blue light tonight but its in my eyes. You can't see it but there's always a new message to me. I need to keep my chin up. Gotta be like leon and cloud. They're tough guys. Yeah, badass. Like hiro :] well if you need me, always know where to get me. And you know what's my soft soft. Ha that sounds wrong. =p oh wait sorry, that's silly kid stuff. I mean I can be a kid but later on. High school now. Gotta make a statement. You already know the three words on my mind. Good night little one

Score! Clair pulled through.
*wipes sweat off forehead* but syler, you can't die man. Your from the steel city. My body is sore =/ make it ughhhh. Ummm so um lovely day we're having huh? Yeahhh <3ly. I can feel you out there. With the broken black and white dotted braclet in my hands I feel you. Fuck. His brother. He can't die. Nothing can even to through his skin. Noooo pretie! Your gonna die! Fuckkkk no bullets. Noooooooo!! Fly away! Kill them! Oh wait his powers can come back. Not untill daddy gives em back. And your brother can kill you. Why'd you do that nathan? Ohhhhhh brother vs brother. If he can do that to his bro I can only imangen what petie could maybe do to nathan. If he had his powers that is. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh. Ummmm so yeah. My mother is taking about a shot that her father got so his body won't rot =( I don't wanna hear it. Come the day any of my family family dies you so can't leave me =( I'll need you so much. I feel amazing. Come to me? You know the code to get here. Or at least I hope you remember it. Like I member your locker #. The code, last year. I remember a lot little one. Ever scene the music video to mockingbird by eminem? Well in sitting in slim's shoes here. Just playing back all of our happy memories love. You'd love being with me now, like im so hyper and just full of energy and happy I guess, or maybe that happyness is excitment. Heroes does it to me. As you, whoaaa maya opened the door. Lmao you guys didn't grow up. You read comicbooks and eat junkfood. Because he gives people hope. No billioaire like batman or alien like clark, just gotta believe. Whoa, clair and hiro talking as babies. I loveee babies, canr wait ta father my own. Lmaoooooo "best day ever" wasn't for me pal. Speak for yourself. But I turned it around. I hope you maybe call but you don't have to. You never have to do a thing kitten. My feet are cold. Nooooooo what? Heyyy the man of steel didn't die. That's see that's what happen when your from the steel city. Steel yourself. Flashback. Made me smile little one, does that make you smile? Your partner, if you still wanna call me that. I woner if you'd ever put on my necklace since. I liked it when out foreheads touched today. Mother was happy ta see you. Yuckkkk pizzahut is gross. =/ the thing on my chin. Imma hope it goes away asappp. Remember when we went to the mall? you, me and mom? That was one of the happyest times of well my memory. My bestfriend. My mate, my love, my family, I miss your faamily very much, id do nearly anything ta hear dad say one word. "Tribe" and mom's smile and laughter lol. And its like we have the same mark on our hands? The m? I just remeber trying ta focus on it one day at dinner, do you remember those times in the kitchan? I loved those too love. Lol one more 9th wonder, from one dude to an other! Ohhhhy eah isac did give that guy his drawing book! I member! You member darling? I feel like I did with you when we laid on the living room floor and watched the steelers play vs the eagels. We lost but boy did I hang on to you. And yell. Remember? Remeber the picture of me holding maggie's flower basket? Remember that I hit you in the chin lifting up a box for dad cause you were stuggling? Do you remember when that boy's camera fell into the water? And that guy's speedo? Member the boat like broke down? And you wouldn't answer your phone. Member? Remember my paiful smile? *kisses your forehead* and staies at your lips afterwards* I love you

Tryin ta gimme a sign?
I saw five mustangs in the last five minuites, three red, two yellow, a yellow gt with two blavk racing stirpes and black rims was me fav :]

The day, cleared up like my mind. Do you think there's something still on it tho. If you said no your wrong. And you know what the thought is of. I wonder if she does the same

What a relief, im fine. *hug*
I just hope this lasts

I need to fight this,
*sigh* fight. Even will it be peaceful again? Why won't someone else fight this for me? If I promise to love you will that be enough for you to fight for me? Or maybe you'd like to have what's left of me. It isn't to much but Id like to think its better than what's around you. Well in someway. But to some I can be a curse. Maybe I need to get away. No. Fact: I still vary much remember love

do it motherfucker, do it!
pull the fucking trigger, lay me out.
do it! i swear to god, just do it, put me
out of my misery. if you wont do it hand me
the gun, i'll blast myself. fine you wont do it?
im sure for enough money someone out there would do it.
i could even add a cute suicide note so it wont seem like anything.
i cant beat myself, well thats all ive been doing., beating myself up.
but i cant defeat myself. yeah thats the right word. i cant escape, cant run,
no place to run. okay, i cant make them the way id want them to be. they'll have to
grow up and i'll have to move on. enough of the shit bryan. gather the peices of your heart and we're out of here. can you see past her? look, theres the suset, theres the ocean. other things are beutiful. but you just dont understand. she put in color to my life. like a coloring book. have your hope and shut up. dream dont whine. dont bitch to them. i feel horrible. as i said fake. maybe why she dosent
see as torn as i am is because im just not pretty enough. maybe the crap on my face is reminders that im real, human. and she's looking for an edward. but i am him. im so much more. can you see me? maybe im over reacting. with a daeth in the family and the death of my hero. bruce wayne. but i must think that he'll live forever. it dosent matter who's behind the mask right? (say right) i need solid answers here.
i need something to be strong enough to stand my days. i have very few ways but i wont touch them. im afriad to break them. you see, my mind use to be like a beautiful house. untill depression came along and destoryed my home. but in the mist of it all i stood there. i stayed because its still home. in away it was wonderful, i was no longer contained like an animal behind those four walls. not anymore. at first i couldnt handle it but learned it. loved it later. my mind was free, my mind no longer knew any boundries. none. the ruins and lines where still there tho, of the walls, in my home. id enter on room and i thought of it like walking into a state of mind. if i needed a change i could easily just hop over the ruin and go into the next room. well does the wall make the room? ugh, nvm but lately ive wondered away from the familar ruins of my home. i dont know were i am. come into my mind like parkman and save me? pull me out? but my mind is a dangerous place. sometimes to blank. at others so busy and violent. ive driven myself to xreams during the vacation. did i worry you today? i was freaking out, and i couldnt find water, they were ither so short or were broken and i didnt know, im so shakey. hold me? but im so stobborn, id yell at you to go away, to not touch me, or maybe it depends on who you are. what do i need? only i can win. im not the guy to be with, you cant handle me. do you even see me that way? you make things so okay but the way you act makes me think you want me gone. do you not want me to touch you? im crying now. and yeah i'll admit it. baby help me

never did get a phonecall back,
at least i'll see her today. its 6:31
and its still so dark outthere. i hate
the thing on my chin. at least i can give
troy the thumbs up, ha if not a hug. we
shut em downnn. our defence won us the game.
but our offencive guys did pull through too.
well imma go