Dead fucking truth

i feel terrible,
i feel like i made her cry. i did.
i shouldnt have. okay listen, i really dont like him, i know this sounds sot stupid because i dont know him but im so not okay with him. i dont want you around him, it even gets to me that you talk to him. that okay? well i hate to cry ,fuck i'll let it all out. i wont talk to her. its over. you and joey are all i havce, my closest friends. you guys mean the world to me. this might sound so cheesy but you guys are the ground i stand on. joey has been my friend for like five years and i love him he'll be there whenever. like emily to you. i'd be crushed even if something happened to emily because you guys are like sisters. you guys love eachother. i love you catalina, adore you. i get jealous somethings. maybe even alot. like it got to me that you talk to kevin. i'll do anything to make you happy. im not good at pouring my heart our because its on my sleave. you once told me you loved me. at night. on a text message. i know you mean it. i feel like i have rased alot of question into your mind. you dont believe people belong together sometimes? honestly i was disapointed when you said that just recently that you stoped believeing it. i believe in it. i have a backbone. this is it. i hate how emotional i am. maybe not hate but its me. its bryan salazar. you liked him for two years, becauxe of looks? i hope you love me, i know you do, and its for more than looks. now the tears that were ready to roll down these tan cheeks of mine are back were they are meant to be. i can be strong. i am strong, i can be anything i want to be. when i was in ccmc i was shattered, lost, confused. i loved the late hours, because it got dark and when i was surronded in it i could have anything i didnt in the light and i could have had as much of it as i wanted. might sound crazy. do you want to know what i have on my phone? this is it.


Dear sidekick,
yesterday 14/3/8 was such a wonderful night.
i spent it with the mckays, , they feel like family, honestly,
when i look into her eyes i feel such a deep connection that in my heart, it tells me that im looking into the eyes of my future, i dream of a day when i'll go on one knee and ask her if she'd promise me forever. the day where and when a mckay will become a salazar, where i'll cradell my baby in my arms and kiss my partner's cheek. i dream of so much, hope for so much, i can do it, believe in me, bryan


and fyi i dont give a rats ass if any other people think im crazy for all this.
i dream that i'll maryy her, ive seen it in my dreams, i hope that she'll become my high school sweetheart and someday my wife. you can say that im thinking way too far ahead, that im just a kid, that i dont know what love it but i do, you havent felt what catalina and i feel, and for you who have felt it, feel it i cant be more than happy for you. take care of your partner. reminds me of a song, call " no letting go" by wayne wonder. it goes

Got somebody she's a beauty
Very special really and truly
Takes good care of me like it's her duty
Won't you ride by my side night and day

Chorus
No lettting go No holding back
Because you are my lady
When I'm with you its all about that
Girl I, am so glad we've made it
No letting go No holding back
No holding Back noooooooo yeah
When I'm with you it's all about that
All a that yeah yeah

we can make it babe, we can.
i know we can. sorry if it seems like im being an asshole people.
i just had to get these things off me. catalina, it wouldnt hurt me at all if i didnt talk to her. i want us to last so badly. you know i completely adore you and this is sweet, i like your family so much. dad, mother, little gaby. i'd want them to be part of my life for a long time. maybe even forever, and if you wanted to see if you love me, and want to see others just to make sure we'd be okay in the long run then when the time comes i swear i'll take it as best can i possibly can. this is the trian of thiought i missed. the feeling of being right, like im so sure. like no one can prove me wrong. you have become so much of my life. and youu know it, see kt, look at my room. you've seen. salazar out